Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
