Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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