Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize