i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
