I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
