so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
