Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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