I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
