redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
