this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.