we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?