Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.

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(712): View more from Iowa

She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...

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(386): View more from Florida

I wanna passion pit in your ass

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(408): View more from California

When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?

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(347): View more from New York

she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.

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(256): View more from Alabama

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..

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(850): View more from Florida

I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.

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(716): View more from New York

Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.

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