its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!