So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES