i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
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He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.