Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He shit in the fireplace
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
