Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
