i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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