I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
