I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
