Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
