well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize