Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
