Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
