Define "chronic" masturbator.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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