Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
