I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
