some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
