i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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