this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
