Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
