She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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