dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
