I am full of burrito and curiosity
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
