I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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