Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
