I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
