Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
