is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
you never un-have a 4some
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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