We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
