I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
