No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
