I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Randomize
