dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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