So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
