they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You smell like stripper and shame
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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