tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
