i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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