Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
