I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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