I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
