Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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