"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
