I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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