THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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