I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
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