so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize