I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
