I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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