Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
