made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
