trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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