tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
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