i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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