no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
