i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
